Fatty Foods and Comfortable Shoes

Still trying to be witty.

http://www.threadless.com/profile/998022/amazon_ww/slogans

A friend of mine posted this picture a while ago:



And because I know the heartbreak of a Guitar Hero defeat, I sympathized with him. For like a second. Then I brought out The Coach and told him to STOP SUCKING.

"Did you save up your star power?", I asked. He did, indeed, do this. So I gave a little additional wisdom. "Dude, you gotta hit more notes. Seriously."

Of course I couldn't leave it there.

Nope. I was going to play that song. I was going to play it, and kick his testicles to the moon* in progress.

I bet you can see where this is going.



Yeah. I failed that puppy seven times. That was yesterday. Today I decided it would only be right to make a public and formal apology. So I got my camera all ready, then tried the stupid song. That is how the above was produced. Sigh. But at least I was prepared to share my shame.

But I didn't start today with only my own hubris in mind. No, I was going to beat that song, or spend all fucking night trying. Woudl you take a guess at what happened my very next try?



That's right! I fucking rocked that bitch!!! GODDAMN I AM THE MAN!



I still posted the pictures, and the intended apology. But now that is quickly followed up by an account of how friggin' stellar I am.

Woo Rockstar**!!!


*Note: I am using one of his metaphors.
**I know a using a plastic guitar does not, in fact, make me a rockstar of any sort. I'm really lame.

or

I WISH THE DAMN DECEPTICONS WOULD WIN SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WATCH THE STUPID ANNOYING HUMANS ANYMORE!!

Have you guys read the 1000 Awesome Things blog?

It's pretty good.

In fact, it has given me a new perspective on my daily goings on. Things like a clean toilet seat and taking your socks off after work, they always felt good, but now I take a moment to actually think about them.

And that bring an extra morsel of joy to my day.

Which brings me to the day before Canada Day. I was getting the dessert ready, and the first step in the instructions was "grease an eight-inch pie pan". Now I don't know how often you may bake or cook, but if you've ever had all the ingrediants mixed, the oven is hot, your hand are all covered in goop, and you're ready to pour the stuff out of the mixing bowl into the baking container... only to realize that you haven't greased the pan, you'll feel my vibe here.

Way too often greasing the pan is stuck way down in step #20, not even its own entry. "Pour mixture into well-buttered muffin tray". Arg!

Yes, that frustration is enought to make you want to pull your hair out. If your hands and arms weren't covered in cake batter, that is.

So thank you 1000 Awesome Things, for making me think to take the time to appreciate the little but awesome things in my life, and THANK YOU! icecream pie directions for making my day AWESOME!

Pickled kielbasa
Salsa Negra
Salsa something con chipotle
Guacamole
BBQ'd beef roast
Grilled peppers, sweet potatos, and parsnips
Ice cream cupcakes

2007 Konzelmann Riesling Grand Reserve Classic (whoops, this was supposed to be a gwertz)
1994 Johannisberger Vogelsang Rheingaus Riesling Spatlese
2007 Henry of Pelham Cab Sauv Rosé
2007 Flat Rock "Winemaker's Boots" Pinot Noir
2007 Peninula Ridge Cab Franc Icewine

Ate out on the deck, watched the rain clouds blow by to the Quebec side.

Finished off with cigars and rum.

Yeah, that is a good Canada Day.

Tonight I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and sit out on my deck:



But wait, is that what I think it is?



Why yes, all my vices at once.

A cigar, from the Dominican, poker, in the form of Mr. Hanson's book, and alcohol, in the form of 18 year old Highland Park Scotch.

Being a grown-up rocks.

Hello [Dentist] et. al!

It has been a few days since I have received your call, and still I have not sent this cheque. :(
Even worse - though I dutifully wrote down the exact amount owed... I seem to have lost this piece of paper AND I cannot remember the actual amount.
Of course, I could call and ask you for this information, but then you would know about my failings right away. Besides, now you have written proof of my sheer stupidity. :)
I thus enclose a cheque for $35, which should cover the bill and leave enough for coffees
-just brush your teeth afterward.

I would like to say that I won't be this difficult next time, but we know that would be a LIE.

THANKS!
[amazon]

I am at this very moment listening to my colleagues discuss the lyrics to "Itsy Bitsy Spider".

Amazon_ww: this. is. your. life.

Note to self:

Even though you usually do your grocery and liquor shopping on Tuesday; the Tuesday before the LCBO staff are likely to strike is not the most opportune time.

Crikey.

Submitted a slogan for TypeTees.

Stop vegetable cruelty

Vote for it if you'd wear it. Or if you want me to get free t-shirt money.

http://www.typetees.com/score/1488748/Stop_vegetable_cruelty

Greek Chicken Salad



In a plastic container because I took this in the car on the way to work. The MB is not so fond of this, but I think it is tasty enough!

I forgot to mention: I am still making it with my new years resolution. The recipe for May was tahini cookies. They turned out pretty well:



Unfortunately, some of them did not turn out so well:




Ah well.

And finally, because I got around to not being so lazy, here is the bacon weave from... March?

Alright. Finally I have seen Star Trek.

Got to the theatre nice and early (1 hour), so we had first choice of seats. Even though it's been out for three weeks, I made sure to wear my special outfit:



Yes, that is a regular shirt, but with a communicator it is transformed into a Star Fleet Uniform!

So now, that movie.

I've heard nothing but puppy dogs and rainbows about this show, so frankly I didn't have high hopes. But I can tell you: it was great. Lots of action, some nice quirky humour, good story, and no annoying moral at the end.

My dislikes include ( Some spoilers in this paragraph )

This is a film that results in some serious post-movie glow. I am really looking forward to some friggin' sequels, because really. What can't be done with this franchise now?

Alright, a little bit of background for those of you who won't know what I'm talking about.

Canadian politics are quite different from American politics. We do not elect our Prime Minister. What happens is that we vote for our regional representative, and whichever political party that wins the most regional seats gets to run the country for a while. The party will choose its leader (beforehand), and that leader gets to be Prime Minister. To make this a little more complicated, the PM isn't actually the Head of State. Officially, we are headed by the Queen of Canada, who is the same person as the Queen of England, but she wears a special pin or something when it comes to Canadian matters. That is, if she were to deal with them directly. Which she doesn't. The Queen has a representative in Canada, our Governor General, to do all the rubber-stamping for her. I say it like that because generally the PM will say "we are doing this" and the GG will say "whatever you say, mister Prime Minister". This is really great because the PM, at the root of it, actually appoints the GG. It's like getting to pick your own boss after you already have the job.

So, even though that was pretty brief, here it is in point form:

The Queen is the head of Canada
The Governor General represents and speaks for the Queen
The Prime Minister does the work and makes the decisions
The GG gives ceremonial oks to those decisions (mostly)

Got it that part? Good.

Right now Canada is in the middle of a bunch of trade and policy shenanigans. You see, we have a bunch of seals all up in our North End, and every year we kill a bunch. This is done both to control the seal population and to make money. The meat, skins, and blubber is used for all manner of things. The hunt is regulated, there are all sorts of restrictions and stuff, and it gets a lot of media attention every year. (There are several domestic terrorist groups who vocally oppose the hunt. they also go to the culling grounds to protest and will sometimes assault the hunters). Recently, the European Union banned the import of Canadian seal products, and the Government of Canada is pretty pissed about that. Certainly, sealing is not Canada's biggest industry, but it is significant. When you boil it down, the livelihood of several communities relies on this hunt.

I should note that there are two kind of sub-species of the hunt. The Inuits hunt seals and use the parts in their daily lives. This traditional hunt has been done for thousands of years. The commercial hunt is done mostly by non-Inuit fisherman, those seal parts are sold commercially as pelts, oil, and pet food.



The other day, Michaëlle Jean, the GG, ate a piece of raw seal heart. She was visiting an Inuit community, and as part of a traditional feast, she helped to carve part of the animal and ate a piece of the heart.

Then she basically gave the middle finger to a bunch of terrorist groups and the EU, saying "take from that what you will."

Unapologetic, elegant, promoting the Canadian Way, classy, wilful, and down to earth. Michaëlle Jean is perhaps the perfect GG. We should feel an immense pride in having her as our vice regal.

So I've mentioned that some of my friends suck at going to the movies (but I love you guys!). Well now let me tell you about this other friend of mine. Because after telling him the whole story, this is what he had to say:

Dude! That's awful! Your friends are terrible. (note, we share these friends) You know what you need? You need a friend who understands these kinds of things. Basically, it's like, well, going to the movies the way we do, well, if you don't do it right, it can be dangerous. Basically, you need a friend who knows your safe-word. You know, it can be a little weird at first, but you both agree to everything and this makes sure no one gets hurt. Yeah, that's the kind of movie friend you and I need, amazon.

Yes, he just likened going to the movies to S&M. Which makes him Sarek to my Picard because we're sharing a frickin' brain!

I - I'm a bit of a Type A kind of gal. I tend to over think things, be really controlling and overbearing, and I definitely fuss over details. I'm working on this, honest.

Except when it comes to movies.

Some people will show up a few minutes before the trailers, take their seats and wait for things to begin. Some people will come in while the trailers are playing, and have to look for their seats in the dark. There are people who don't mind missing the opening credits. Still others don't mind splitting up their group or sitting in the front row because the theatre is really packed.

I am not any of those people.

Guys, I will show up for a movie on its last day running, after three months of theatre time, and I will make sure I am there a half hour before show time so that I can pick my seat. In seriousness, this is pretty much the only circumstance where I will show up less than 45 minutes early. If I walk into a theatre to find that more than two thirds of the seats are taken, I walk right back out. I put empty cups in the cup holders of the seats in front of me so that I can put my feet on the seats during the show.

So when my friends want to see Star Trek in IMAX at 7pm, I start to freak out a bit that it is 6:00 and you are just starting to cook dinner. My blood pressure really goes up when it is 6:15 and we are just starting to spoon out the salad. I have to hope that my eyes don't pop right out of my skull when it is 6:41 and we are still not in the car. And frankly, I just about had a fucking meltdown when I walk into the theatre at 6:56 and the place is packed. Packed as in, I'm pretty sure the box office isn't selling any more tickets* packed.

Now, to my credit, I didn't say anything the whole time before the show. I wasn't running things, and I understand that not everyone is as anal as I am. I also took a nice deep breath and decided that I was going to give this show a shot. Yes, I would sit where ever m friends chose (be it apart or at the front) and I would try to watch the movie. Well, there weren't any seats together in the normal part of the theatre, so it was decided that we would sit in the second row. I watched the trailers, but didn't really enjoy them. I put it off to possibly a poor quality of trailer film, or maybe the projectionist hadn't focused the lens in a while. The movie started and I wasn't happy, but I thought I might be able to get through it. I told myself "give it twenty minutes. You'll see explosions, quick action, and in the latter part of the 20 you'll see some wide character-based shots". I didn't make it past 10 minutes. The second row is just too close people!

Thankfully, the MB and I had taken separate cars, so I got up and left. (Yes, I let him know that I wasn't coming back before leaving).

And that was that. My last chance to see Star Trek in IMAX.


*A show will display "sold out", when there are less than 10% of the seats left. For example, I know for one screen that has a capacity of 306 the show would display as sold out when it got down to 20 (or was it 25?) seats. Quick kiosk sales are automatically cut off at this point, but you can still buy a ticket from a human. I assume it happens this way because a) nobody wants to sit in those seats unless b) somebody came late to the show but their friend is already inside saving a seat.

Thanks Google



for reminding me I have to call my mom today.